Marijuana and grapes


I’m the youngest of three and as such I spent a lot of time in the car with my mom running errands and taking my older brothers to their various and sundry commitments. I had a lot of deep thoughts in the back of my mom’s Datsun 210. For example, those big boxes attached to the poles at intersections housed little people who sat up there all day and pulled levers to change the traffic lights.

We used to drive on an overpass that gave me a bird’s eye view of a warehouse down below with the words “BODY SHOP” emblazoned on the side. That’s clearly where they sold prosthetic limbs, duh. I imagined rows upon rows of different colored arms, some hairy, some muscular, some delicate. Your pick at the body shop.

The world was a strange and wondrous place. So when I heard songs on the radio like My Sharona or Heart of Glass, I took quite literally lyrics like,

Once I had a love, it was a gas
Soon turned out had a heart of glass

Hmm, somebody needs to visit the body shop.

Okay, so I wasn’t the brightest kid. My mom liked to call me “imaginative.”

Still today, I love music. I sing in the car and I have been doing so since my kids were babies. I started ’em young so that when they got older they wouldn’t be embarrassed and ask me to stop. Well, that plan backfired.

My boys are of the age that they’ve developed their own taste in music. My oldest asked me a few months back why all the songs on the radio are sung by girls. “What happened to the guy singers? You know like PitBull?”

That’s Sam’s taste in music.

Max is more into house/electronica. Anything with a fast beat, really. Max loves to dance and I have no doubt he’ll be sneaking out of the house in 8 years wearing skin tight jeans and eyeliner headed to the club to “express himself.”

I like to see my kids develop their musical taste buds. It makes me happy when Sam rolls his eyes when Taylor Swift comes on the radio again. I smile when I see Max’s little shoulder bouncing to the beat beneath his seat belt. And when a song comes on in the car that they like, they both stare out the window and become “first time listeners.” They hear every word. And they remember them all.

So as a Mom, I get a little stabby when top 40 radio stations play songs with lyrics like:

We are the new Americana
High on legal marijuana

Listen, I am all for legal marijuana (let’s get with the program, Florida) but it makes my head hurt when I hear my 7-year old singing softly to himself when he thinks no one can hear him. Words like:

I gotta stay high all the time
to keep you off my mind
wooo ooooh oooh oooh

I can only hope that Max is as “imaginative” as I was as a child and thinks the singer is a kite.

On occasion, when the kids are feeling especially kid-like they ask me to put on Kids Place Live, an XM radio station that plays all kid music, all the time. Now, normally I’d have to be high all the time to listen to this crap, but the Kids Place Live requests are becoming more infrequent with my crew, so I happily tune to channel 78 and turn up the volume.

A popular song on KPL now is called Grapes by Andrew & Polly. I DARE you to listen to it. Here, I’ll even give you the link. Just give it a try. See if you can make it to the chorus.

I’m gonna go home
and I’m gonna eat some grapes
la la la la grapes
la la la la grapes
La la la la la la la la la la la la la la GRAPES.

Polly is a lyrical genius. You only have to hear the song once and it successfully needles its way into your brain where it lives FOREVER. I’m pretty sure there is some underground government that is staging an uprising and this song was developed to brainwash us and turn us to their cause. There’s no other logical explanation.

But the kids love it. They sing it all the time. They ask for Kids Place Live in hopes of catching it on the air. I gotta admit, it IS catchy. With my “imagination” I sing along:

I’m gonna go home
and I’m gonna drink some grapes
la la la la grapes!
la la la la grapes!

And then the song’s not so bad.



21. January 2016 by Shannon
Categories: Writing | Tags: , | Comments Off on Marijuana and grapes