This is not funny. At all.
Each night my kids come home from school with their planners that I have to review and initial. And each night, I sign “SS” in my scrolling handwriting, and it looks all loopy and pretty and shit.
Last night I decided to spice things up a bit, because oooh burn! That’s how I roll and I’m loco-crazy! I wrote:
I, Shannon Shenanigan, hereby declare I reviewed Max’s folder and proclaim this writing as proof of such.
Today at pick up, Max’s teacher plucked his folder out of the bin, pulled me aside and whispered, “Is everything ok?” She pointed to my proclamation from the night before.
I stared at her, looking confused. What else is new?
“I was just wondering if this is something, ya know, legal you had to put in the planner because of, well, you know.” Pre-School teachers apparently are not allowed to say the word “divorce.”
“Oh! That! No, I was just being a smart ass.” Failure.
“Okay, I was wondering! Whew! I asked two of the other teachers and they thought maybe you were being funny, but I wasn’t sure.” Maybe? Like, perhaps, on some planet without any other funny people anywhere.
“Oh, well, that was just me. Trying to be funny!” Next time I’ll include a recording of a rimshot (http://instantrimshot.com/).
“Yes, I know you’re a writer. I appreciate the creativity.” Gold star.
Tomorrow I’m going to sign the planner: “Shannon Sina.. OH MY GOD THE BUGS! GET THEM OFF GET THEM OFF GET THEM OFF!” We’ll see if she meets me at the door with the paramedics and a straight jacket.