How shared custody kills parenting momentum

It sure is hard to keep my parenting momentum going when our week is cut short by the divorce custody schedule. I start each week with gusto, and fall into a steady rhythm of homework, after-school activities and family dinners. Yet each week, I am cut short like a fingernail snipped past the quick. It leaves me feeling tender and exposed. I have yet to find my end-of-the-week groove. When the boys are at their dad’s, I lose my parental footing and often fall short of my mom duties.

I am notoriously bad at signing my name on the “Items needed” list for school functions. I drop my kids off the first part of the week, but never on a Thursday or Friday. Therefore if I sign up to bring in juice boxes on Friday, I am hard pressed to remember – especially because I don’t have my kids with me. Often times I find the signup sheet filled before I get a chance to help. Again, the custody schedule is to blame – or maybe it’s me not adjusting well.

I feel as though I have to squeeze a week’s worth of work into three days. If I decide Sam and I need to work on his “S-words” for his lisp, I have to remember to get it in before he leaves for Dad’s on Wednesday night. If Max needs to bring in a family picture by Friday, I have to remember to bring it by Wednesday morning. My entire life I’ve worked from a 5-day school/work week and in the past year and a half, it has been cut to three.

I’m not adjusting well.

Moving forward, I need to readjust my thinking and train my brain to know my “Kid-week” ends on Wednesday. I need to remind myself that I have a mid-week deadline for all things school related. I have to be a couple days ahead of the game or else I’m liable to forget entirely.

Does anyone else struggle with this same dilemma? If so, how do you deal with it?



25. August 2012 by Shannon
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